Wednesday, May 03, 2006
90-Day Assessment
[Apologies, this was supposed to be posted a day or two ago, but it turns out that Greenwich Village is not bathed in the wireless networks we breathe like air in cutting edge Colorado. Why is the frontier more developed than the Greatest City in the World?]
When I began this blog 90 days ago, I was in an atypical frame of mind. Where my normal priorities included getting plenty of sleep, exercising, meditating regularly, and working on my art, for the few months leading up to the beginning of this 90-day run, I was on a path of suicidal workaholism. For one reason or another, I was obsessed with "saving my company", and would stop at nothing short of 100-hours-a-week CEOhood to do so. Gone was any sense of regularity or self-development; in its place were 2-3 all-nighters a week, plenty of coffee, late nights, beers in bed with a notebook, and just about every other decadent, self-sacrificing activity you can think of.
This blog began as a way to both hold myself accountable to getting my life back on track, and to prove to myself and others that Integral Life Practice is a meme worth spreading. As a secondary benefit, promoting ILP could bring my organization more money, and me a raise. The self-interest was mutual. Well, I'm happy to report two things: ILP works, and it takes a hell of a lot more time to get "on track" than I'd originally concieved. While I wasn't expecting to become a Buddha-with-Biceps after just 3 months of practice, I hoped I'd be doing something along the lines of an hour of Big Mind or 1-2-3 O' God each morning, followed by some hardcore F.I.T. and a session with a therapist or two.
Instead, my commitment to personal development turned to more fundamental things, namely, money and time. The break-through, I believe, was when I started to keep a time and money log, which gave me a new awareness of my day-to-day activities and expenditures. This put me in the frame of mind that every second (and every dollar) counts, and gave me a new orientation towards the future which my previous work-a-hedonism had forbade. Contra postmodern addicto-culture's incessant injunction to chase pleasure and nothing else, I began to adopt something decidely more puritan and old school: saving for the future. I can't even express what a shift this was in my worldview.
From this fundamental attitude adjustment flowed everything else. Keeping track of time showed me what a lunatic practice it was to never have a standard waking or sleeping time. Thus began the 8am wake-up time. Waking up early with the world every morning, for a committed 4am hedonist, is actually a profound practice in itself, and from it flowed the desire to honor the magic of the A.M. with a bit of meditation and, since I was already in the practice mode, physical exercise. My ILP had rebuilt itself, and all I had to do was set my alarm for the same time every morning!
What then became obvious was a new pattern I had never considered: giving each day a heirarchy, by doing the most important things in my life first, with the bullshit casual entertainment vice-addictions saved for the end of the day (if there was time). So after meditating and exercising, came my art: 2 or 3 hours each morning. Then, going to the office to begin the work day, followed by my hobby (music), some food-tv-beer-books, and then bed.
Now, of course, there is a new emergent: boredom. And so this is my edge: finding a way to reintegrate the spontaneity, fun, and perspective-taking of my old lifestyle, without losing out on any of the rigorous structure of the new routine. One way, as suggested by my mentor John Forman, may be to take one day off per week to do something completely uncharacteristic, like go to a rifle range, or vote Republican. We'll see... =)
When I began this blog 90 days ago, I was in an atypical frame of mind. Where my normal priorities included getting plenty of sleep, exercising, meditating regularly, and working on my art, for the few months leading up to the beginning of this 90-day run, I was on a path of suicidal workaholism. For one reason or another, I was obsessed with "saving my company", and would stop at nothing short of 100-hours-a-week CEOhood to do so. Gone was any sense of regularity or self-development; in its place were 2-3 all-nighters a week, plenty of coffee, late nights, beers in bed with a notebook, and just about every other decadent, self-sacrificing activity you can think of.
This blog began as a way to both hold myself accountable to getting my life back on track, and to prove to myself and others that Integral Life Practice is a meme worth spreading. As a secondary benefit, promoting ILP could bring my organization more money, and me a raise. The self-interest was mutual. Well, I'm happy to report two things: ILP works, and it takes a hell of a lot more time to get "on track" than I'd originally concieved. While I wasn't expecting to become a Buddha-with-Biceps after just 3 months of practice, I hoped I'd be doing something along the lines of an hour of Big Mind or 1-2-3 O' God each morning, followed by some hardcore F.I.T. and a session with a therapist or two.
Instead, my commitment to personal development turned to more fundamental things, namely, money and time. The break-through, I believe, was when I started to keep a time and money log, which gave me a new awareness of my day-to-day activities and expenditures. This put me in the frame of mind that every second (and every dollar) counts, and gave me a new orientation towards the future which my previous work-a-hedonism had forbade. Contra postmodern addicto-culture's incessant injunction to chase pleasure and nothing else, I began to adopt something decidely more puritan and old school: saving for the future. I can't even express what a shift this was in my worldview.
From this fundamental attitude adjustment flowed everything else. Keeping track of time showed me what a lunatic practice it was to never have a standard waking or sleeping time. Thus began the 8am wake-up time. Waking up early with the world every morning, for a committed 4am hedonist, is actually a profound practice in itself, and from it flowed the desire to honor the magic of the A.M. with a bit of meditation and, since I was already in the practice mode, physical exercise. My ILP had rebuilt itself, and all I had to do was set my alarm for the same time every morning!
What then became obvious was a new pattern I had never considered: giving each day a heirarchy, by doing the most important things in my life first, with the bullshit casual entertainment vice-addictions saved for the end of the day (if there was time). So after meditating and exercising, came my art: 2 or 3 hours each morning. Then, going to the office to begin the work day, followed by my hobby (music), some food-tv-beer-books, and then bed.
Now, of course, there is a new emergent: boredom. And so this is my edge: finding a way to reintegrate the spontaneity, fun, and perspective-taking of my old lifestyle, without losing out on any of the rigorous structure of the new routine. One way, as suggested by my mentor John Forman, may be to take one day off per week to do something completely uncharacteristic, like go to a rifle range, or vote Republican. We'll see... =)
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Golden!
This hierarchy in the day thing you mention is key for me too. I realized that I needed to be more selfish, and so the first 2 hours of the day from 7 am to 9 am are for me, and me only. No working, no chatting, no thinking about stuff I have to do for other people. And when I give myself enough time in the morning each day, the rest of the day just flows from that container I've created.
This hierarchy in the day thing you mention is key for me too. I realized that I needed to be more selfish, and so the first 2 hours of the day from 7 am to 9 am are for me, and me only. No working, no chatting, no thinking about stuff I have to do for other people. And when I give myself enough time in the morning each day, the rest of the day just flows from that container I've created.
I am little confused. Getting up at a regular time every morning and doing some regular practice is certainly something I have strived for in my ILP. But how do your working days not start until after 9am?
For me to fit in a couple of hours of personal time/practice in the morning, would mean getting up between 4 and 6am depending on my work commitments etc. I dont think I am alone here, am I?
For me to fit in a couple of hours of personal time/practice in the morning, would mean getting up between 4 and 6am depending on my work commitments etc. I dont think I am alone here, am I?
Soft ghost,
No, you are not alone. I-I is nice this way - and actually, it's true of a lot of tech workers/creative design types as well - in that the workday starts later.
Myself, since I deal with HR people on a day to day basis, when I'm not building sites, this means I'm at work fairly early. But the "pure" developers here get in around 10 AM...
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No, you are not alone. I-I is nice this way - and actually, it's true of a lot of tech workers/creative design types as well - in that the workday starts later.
Myself, since I deal with HR people on a day to day basis, when I'm not building sites, this means I'm at work fairly early. But the "pure" developers here get in around 10 AM...
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