90 Days of ILP

Well, guess what? Mr. ILP Blogger, Mr. #1 Man Night promoter, Mr. "I Set Goals and Then I Meet Them", failed to meet his goal yesterday. Why, you ask?

Let's back up. The purpose of the Men's ILP Group (or "Man Night", as we prefer to call it), among other things, is to provide a space for humans with male genitalia to hold each other accountable to their own growth. Last night was night #4, and it was where the second round of goals were tabulated. Every man who set a goal for accomplishment by last night, met his goal. Except for me.

My goal was to revise one of my short stories, and submit it for publication. I revised it, I printed it, I wrote the cover letter, I even address the envelope, but I failed to get to the post office in time. I was drinking beer, writing and recording spoken word pieces, doing my work for I-I, and when the time came, I realized I had missed the deadline. And, yes, the boys -- men -- held me accountable, in the form of twenty gut-wrenching push-ups, and the threat of temporary ostracism from the group. I let them down, and this is my punishment.

Need Man Night be so harsh? Yes. That's the point. Our higher self has a momentary flash of insight, sets an intention, and then we're hijacked once again by this Thing That Calls Itself You, the stupid, pleasure-only Ego. It takes some foreign elements, some hyper-aware communard brethren, to hold the small self's face to the flame of what the higher self has in store for it.

Such is Man Night.