90 Days of ILP

I won't lie: sometimes it is a privelege to work at I-I. Case in point: our office ILP practice. Each work day we set aside an hour for voluntary group practice in a different "module" each day. Tuesdays are devoted to Psychodynamic work, which was the original name of the Shadow Module in the first place. For those of you with the kit or who have done the 3-2-1 Process, you know what an effective method it is, but it's not the whole story. Honestly, some of us are even sick of "3-2-1".

So along came my co-worker Annie to the rescue.

With experience in counseling and group dynamics, she led today's session through a series of practices designed to explore our personal boundaries and sense of autonomy. Too often, she argued, we will say "yes" or "no" to a request by somebody without checking in with ourselves first, often basing a decision totally on how we wish to be perceived, the fear of being left out, not wanting to hurt the other person, etc. Do this enough, and you will notice how inauthentic and stressful your life will become.

Anyways, one solitary practice for regaining this somatic sense of personal autonomy is the practice of refusal, of saying "no". Say no five times in a row, pausing each time to observe the thoughts and feelings that catalyzes in you. For me it was something weak-willed and spineless at first (I was saying no to tall German dude after all), but with practice became more assertive and self-assured.

One thing I could say no to, I've realized, is writing so much. I love doing it for all of you, but sometimes, duty calls me in other directions. When asked to continue writing a blog post, in this instance, sometimes I just have to say....