90 Days of ILP

Integral Life Practice is a simple, customizable program of personal development conceived by Integral Institute (Ken Wilber, president) of Boulder, Colorado. In the interests of full disclosure, let me first state that I have been a full-time employee of I-I since November 2003, where I have served as a web/graphic designer and copy writer. Ever since I first began reading Wilber's books in the Fall of 1999, I'd been practicing my own version of an ILP, which included running and weighlifting, meditation, intellectual pursuits, and a modest amount of creative visualization, affirmations, and the like. When we broke ground on the Integral Life Practice Starter Kit Project in Summer of 2005, I made a conscious decision to cease these activities in order to concentrate my energies full-bore on the completion of this massive undertaking (which consists of 3 books, 5 dvds, 2 cds, and a poster). No more exercise, meditation, shadow work: nothing.

Ironic, huh?

Now, the project ended in December (and is shipping now), but I didn't resume my practice as I had hoped. In fact, I began working in the office even <i>harder</i>, which leads me up to today: a committed workaholic, with absolutely no time or energy to devote such silly pursuits as those I once practiced. My days consist of a vacillitation between MANIC creative flow states, broken by fractured task-minding and sporadic communication, broken further by interminable meetings and concalls.

Yet the warning signs are beginning to mount.

For one, my back hurts. My energy level is sagging. My sleep schedule has been completely destroyed, my work space is in disarray, and my tasks are piling up while my enthusiasm for dealing with the daily tedium of work in the real world wanes. I've got some serious anger issues, an inability to stay focused on any task for more than 5 minutes, and a deadly affection for the "Romantic artist" archetype. I'm on an ego trip.

I look now to ILP not as the all-saving balm for my meager existence, but as a bit of personal "feng shui", something to add a few minimal changes to the furniture of my lifestyle in order to redirect things in a more healthy manner. Where once I focused entirely on practice at the expense of career, and where now I focus entirely on making stuff for money at the expense of practice, soon I will learn to balance the two poles. Personal Development guru Steve Pavlina said something to the effect that, for any permanent lifestyle change to set in, you've got to do it for 90 days. So here I go, Day 1, February 1, 2005. 90 days, 90 posts. Come May 1st, I hope to greet you as a brand new, more freely-functioning and autonomous Paul.

Epilogue

This evening, I cracked the kit open, leafing through its pages and shrink-wrapped digital media like I didn't have every word and pixel and PMS color memorized. I read the first half of the Welcome book, leafed through some of the Handbook, and then promptly passed out on the sofa at work.

Three hours later, I woke up, and began Day 2. It's going to a long climb.