Question From A Reader
This was recently sent in to me:
Why? Because hating babies is actually a sign of AT LEAST three things.
1) You are a baby
Deep down, aren't we all? Age is an enduring, not transitional, stage conception, which means we are all still 6 months old, even if the 'leading edge' of our age is in the early- to mid-twenties. (Yes, I learned this yesterday when I performed my study theoretical psychology module; fascinating stuff.) So in this way, you hate babies out of a self-loathing sense of inner nihilism—or simply, you hate yourself. Welcome to the club.
2) You want a baby
I mean, seriously, who doesn't, at least a little? By becoming a parent, you get to have a life-long worshipper (with slight break in their teen years, but don't worry, worship of you will resume again) whom you can tell to do whatever you like, whenever you like. I'm basically saying—dogma is alive and well in the American household!. By retroflecting your original Adult impulse of "I want a li'l tyke!" into a projection of your Parent's "I'm not ready" upon the babies that you hate, you are simply suffering from an intense case of baby envy. If you are a woman, I suggest finding a your nearest dealer of roofies. If you are a man, I suggest the same thing. In this ultra-Pomo, post-intimacy world we live in, there is no other way.
and 3) You are having a baby
Yes, a divine emanation is already on the way. Congrats! But "a divine emanation of what?" is the question. And, aye, here's the rub. It might be a baby. It might be a new piece of art birthed by your own native intuition. Or it might just be a big turd. Have you shit recently?
Hope this has been a help. Happy Gestalting!
Paul, I know this is a strange thing to say, and all. But I've wondered it all my life, and I just thought maybe you might have a perspective. So here goes....it is okay to hate babies?Thanks for the note. My answer is simple. Yes.
Why? Because hating babies is actually a sign of AT LEAST three things.
1) You are a baby
Deep down, aren't we all? Age is an enduring, not transitional, stage conception, which means we are all still 6 months old, even if the 'leading edge' of our age is in the early- to mid-twenties. (Yes, I learned this yesterday when I performed my study theoretical psychology module; fascinating stuff.) So in this way, you hate babies out of a self-loathing sense of inner nihilism—or simply, you hate yourself. Welcome to the club.
2) You want a baby
I mean, seriously, who doesn't, at least a little? By becoming a parent, you get to have a life-long worshipper (with slight break in their teen years, but don't worry, worship of you will resume again) whom you can tell to do whatever you like, whenever you like. I'm basically saying—dogma is alive and well in the American household!. By retroflecting your original Adult impulse of "I want a li'l tyke!" into a projection of your Parent's "I'm not ready" upon the babies that you hate, you are simply suffering from an intense case of baby envy. If you are a woman, I suggest finding a your nearest dealer of roofies. If you are a man, I suggest the same thing. In this ultra-Pomo, post-intimacy world we live in, there is no other way.
and 3) You are having a baby
Yes, a divine emanation is already on the way. Congrats! But "a divine emanation of what?" is the question. And, aye, here's the rub. It might be a baby. It might be a new piece of art birthed by your own native intuition. Or it might just be a big turd. Have you shit recently?
Hope this has been a help. Happy Gestalting!
posted by Paul S. at
9:26 AM
2 Comments:
4) Baby's make great stew
Think about it, the Brother's Grimm were on to something. Hansel & Gretel, Little Red Riding Hood, etc. Hating babies is just a natural way of dissociating from dinner ;)
Ha! I hadn't thought of that. But that is so crazy is might just be fucking true.
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